Excerpt
"Dorcas Good, you lazy bitch, come help me with this
wood!"
I jumped up quickly at the sound of my father's voice
and tried with all my might to raise the rude wooden latch that held our door shut. It
took me several times, but I finally managed tothe heavy door and let my father
in.
"What took you so long," yelled my father as he
dropped the wood. Before I could duck he raised his large heavy hand and slapped me
hard on the side of my face. I stood very still, knowing that if I ran from him he would
only catch me and beat me until I couldn't stand.
"I'm sorry Father," I said, knowing that these were the
words he wanted to hear. No excuse was fine enough for William Good when he was drunk
and angry. It mattered not that I was only four and couldn't reach the door. I must do
what he said, impossible though it may be, or suffer the consequences.
"Then let's see how sorry you are, you useless piece of
fodder. Pick up that wood and stack it by the fire. I swear you are almost as useless as
your mother."
I trembled as I turned to the wood. The pieces were
large and I knew that if I tried to drag them Father would hit me again. I took a great
breath and managed to get the first log into my arms as my small body screamed with
pain. But the pain in my body was nothing compared to the dread in my soul.
"Oh God," I whispered silently, "don't let him hurt Mama.
She is not well and the baby is too small to be hit. I promise that if you keep Mama safe
I'll be good and not cry when Father hits me."
"Where's my dinner, you slattern," I heard Father say
to Mama.
"I'll get it Father," I said as I ran as fast as I could. I
knew from experience that if I got my body between him and Mama he might hit me
first.
"Lay down, Father, and I'll bring you some soup and
bread right away," I said, putting my small hand upon his brown woolen sleeve and tugging
him towards the bedroom.
"There's my girl," said Father smiling at me strangely.
"you do just that and I'll let your mother be. She's no use to me as she is now anyway. You
just bring me my victuals and I'll leave Mama alone."
"If you touch her I swear I'll kill you," cried Mama grabbing
me suddenly and hiding me behind her skirt.
"I'll do as I wish in my own home or see you both whipped
for insolence," said Father shoving Mama against a wall and holding his long knife to her
throat. "If you want her to live through this night you'll keep your useless mouth shut and
stay out of my way. It's time she earned her keep around here."
Somehow Mama managed to knock the knife from his
hands and they began to struggle. "Father, Father, stop! I'll go with you. I'll be good, I
promise!" I cried as my father threw Mama to the floor and began beating her head against
the frozen earth.
"You had better be," growled my father as he picked me
up and carried me into the bedroom. From over his shoulder I could see Mama lying on the
floor not making a move.
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